Cha Cha Cha Changes

October is going to be the month for changes for me. I woke up this weekend and decided I wasn’t happy with the way my life was going. There isn’t really anything wrong with my life. There are just certain things that I don’t like. And why should I continue living with that. I’m an adult capable of making changes for the better and sticking to them.

I read a while ago that it takes 21-30 days to break a bad habit or to form a new one. That might very well be an old wives tale but I like the idea of giving myself a month to start and make changes. At the end of the month I can evaluate what worked, what didn’t, and how to proceed. Having a smaller goal also helps me see that I am accomplishing something. So instead of wanting to lose 60 lbs overall I can say 3-5 lbs in one month. That goal is much more doable. So here is my top list of things I want to change this month:

1. Stop eating out so much. I signed up for Mint.com several months and have the app on my phone. It is constantly yelling (not literally cuz that would be weird) that I am spending way past my limit on eating out. If I was to look at how many times I eat out in one week … I think I would faint so I will just say it’s way too much. Unfortunately eating out is so convenient. With working full time and running around after work for gymnastics, swimming, and soccer (yes I became that mom) and countless other appointments the last thing I want to think about is coming home and cooking a full dinner. So I’m going to pull out my crock pot. For those days I have something happening I will put something on and have it ready to go when we get home. Piece of cake. My second biggest offense is breakfast. There are several fast food places within a block from work. In the morning I’m usually running late so stopping at one of these place is so easy. But I found something on Pinterest the other day which should really help me. Did you know you can freeze breakfast burritos? This weekend I cooked up 3 different types of burritos. They are ready to go each morning and I can pop them in the microwave when I get to work.

2. Lose weight. I'm fat. First step is admitting you have a problem. Hopefully #1 will help with this. Eating out doesn’t help maintain good weight. I am so unhappy with the way I look I never take pictures. I don’t have any with the baby except a few candid shots people have taken and I only have a few head shots with Princess. I want to get married in March (I know I was suppose to get married earlier this year but there is a long story as to why I haven’t) and I have my dream dress already. Unfortunately it’s too small for me. So I want to lose 3-5 lbs this month. I know I can do it. I’ve done it before. I just need to stick to it.

3. Organize my home. I think purging all of the unnecessary things in my life will help me feel “free”. In order to help my accomplish this I am doing a couple things. First, I am NOT going to buy anything new for the month except the essentials. Shopping freeze! Second, I need to purge eBay items. So for this month I’m going to run a lot of auctions starting at a low start price. If I’ve had something for a while I want it sold or gone. I will relist each item  twice. If it doesn’t sell it will be donated. I buy most things for a dollar or two so I will still be making a good profit on the items. What I have left over will be organized in the garage. If I showed you a picture of my garage now you would scream and call Hoarders. I want to look like Kari from She Thrifts.  Her storage is so organized.

4. Save money. I think #1 will help with this also. Eating out costs a lot. And I still have a dream of being a slum lord (but a nice one). I can’t buy property if I don’t have any money. But also Christmas is right around the corner and I have a wedding to pay for soon. My goal is to put $250 into savings. 

The main change this month is out of my control. We have court this month for baby on October  23^rd. They are suppose to move to terminate services on both parents. I am praying it happens finally. This month the baby will be 14 months and she will be with us 13 months. I just want something finalized. Living in limbo is so hard. I don’t think court will go easy. I know Dad will contest. And even if he doesn’t he has 2 months to appeal. But very rarely are the decisions made the department over turned. So at least it will be a step in the right direction. The mom has said that she has come to terms with losing the baby and is happy that she will be in a good home. She can see how much we love her and care for her.

I have learned from past experiences that sharing your goals with people helps you be accountable so I am sharing with you. And this is something that I have never done, but I am posting a full length picture of myself. I hope by March (wedding) my weight loss will be noticeable. Now don’t laugh.

Childhood Memories

We all had our favorite toys growing up. Those ones that we couldn't lived without. I had 3. One was a glow worm, the second was a dolly, and the third was a Fisher Price Happy Apple. I don't know if anyone remembers the Happy Apple. It's exactly what the name implies, a happy smiling apple. I would hold it from the brown stem and swing it around all the time until the stem broke. I loved that apple. Somewhere in one of our moves it went missing. Sob.

This weekend I was at a local flea market and what did I see from a distance? A Happy Apple. I ran to it. It was all in slow motion like you see in the movies. I thought I wouldn't be able to reach it in time. But I did. It was like coming home when I scoped it up.

I showed it to mom and she remembered it right away. I paid my dollar and was once again the proud owner of a Happy Apple. And this one had its stem fully attached. I took out a wipe and cleaned it up. Then I called Princess over and told her what I had  found. She was really happy to have the same toy Mommy once had. It touched my heart to see her play with it. I know it won't become her favorite toy but both girls can get some enjoyment out of it for a while.

It's funny how It never occurred to me to try and replace the apple from eBay. There are plenty for sale.  When I saw the Apple and how happy It made me I wish I had bought it sooner. It made me realize and experience the reason people look on eBay for replacement toys both old and new. A favorite toy isn't just an object. It's a feeling you get and memories you cherish that surround that toy that you can't put into words. Selling toys I have sold several replacement toys to parents that emailed me how happy they were to have found the toy for their child because they had lost it and they were so upset. It always made me feel good from a sellers point of view to be able to provide the toy for them (and make a profit). But now I appreciate it even more. 

Anyone else have a favorite toy they replaced from childhood? Or am I the only weird one? 

What's In A Name ...

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. 

I had to memorize Act 2, scene 1 (the famous balcony scene) from Romeo and Juliet in high school. I still remember most of it. Even as a ground up I still don't know why I had to learn it. What educational value was there in memorize lines? 

What is in a name? The name you give your child could make a huge difference in their life. Will they be teased for life? Will it fit them. Be too old for then as a child or too young for them as an adult. It's a lot of pressure coming up with a name. My Princess was named after my Mom. That was a no brainier. But with baby I don't have a clue. I don't want to keep her name. I did plan on Sofia the first time I thought she might be mine. But now it seems kinda tainted after what we have been through. So what would I name her if I was able to adopt her? Social services are recommending a termination of services and have a contested hearing in one week. But things are looking good for us to adopt. 

These are some ideas so far:

Emma

Samantha (would be called Sammi)

Any suggestions on a name?   

Craigslist

I’ve read and heard about people selling things on Craigslist but I was afraid to take the plunge. I have bought plenty but the thought of having to actually drive to meet someone to sell something and possibly wasting my time didn’t appeal to me. Selling on eBay is done from home and you don’t have to pull the item out again until it sells (and it’s paid for).

 

One thing that I’ve learned about babies is that they require a lot of “stuff”. And all this “stuff” is not cheap. Most things I have been able to pick up at yard sales for a fraction of the price of new. And as baby out grew her “stuff” it just got pushed in a corner to be dealt with at a later time. Well that time finally came. J told me I either sold the “stuff” or he was taking it all to Salvation Army. Is he crazy?! Give away things when I can make money on them?!?! Heck no!

 

Listing on Craigslist was so easy. I was actually able to do it from my phone. Took some pictures, put up a description, listed the item for more then I was hoping to make since I know everyone always haggles with the price, and just waited for a taker. First items I listed were an activity saucer thingy she sat in and a small rocking chair. They both sold within a couple days to the same person. The best part was that I was unavailable when she wanted to meet so J had to go for me. Now I just have to tackle the rest of the pile.

 

This past weekend Mom and I went to yard sales and found one that several baby items for sale for a great price. They were all too small for my daughter to use so I just passed over them. Mom on the other hand had different ideas. She bought walker thingy (yes that’s my go to word when I don’t know the exact name) for $2.00. It’s adorable in the shape of a car and in great shape. But it’s not small. My daughter (who refuses to walk) has one at home and we don’t need another. So once we got all settled in the car I turned to mom and asked “Who’s that for?”  Her response was “Mija it was only $2.00. I’m sure you can sell it on Craigslist for at least $10-`15.00.” What?! I just got rid of two bulky things. And here I was bringing a new one home. I guess I need to get to listing. I did make mom promise she wouldn’t pick up anything else to sell until I cleared out the corner.

Too Much TV

I have been sick for a week. J says it’s just a cold and I’m being a baby. I think it’s a life threatening flu. OK maybe not life threatening but I felt horrible. During the time I was off work I spent most of the time asleep but when I was awake I watched lots of TV. Lots of mindless TV. I now know that Tia and Tamera are identical twins. The Duggars have a third grandson. I need to go drink from their faucet because that water makes them really fertile. The Little Couple adopted an Asian little boy. He is so sweet. And lots of other didn’t need to know info. But one of my favorite networks to watch was HGTV and DIY.

 

Here’s the problem with me and watching TV. I get crazy ideas from all these shows. Not only do I want to add to my house, and fix the bathroom and kitchen, but I’ve decided I want to become a slumlord. No that isn’t the latest Show on HGTV. But they do have a show that is called Income Property. After about 4 hours straight of that I decide that’s what my calling in life is. So the second J got home I sprung the news on him, “Honey we are going to become slumlords. Except the nice kind.” He walked out of the room. In the feverish haze I was in I figured it all out. We would buy a property in Iowa near where his family lived. Property is much cheaper there. We would hire a property management company. It would be our excuse for going to visit more often. I even found the property. All J had to do with agree. But reminded me that we can’t afford a second property.

 

A few days later we were out thrift store shopping and I got a sign that this is what I should be doing. Does anyone remember those radio commercials (they might have been on TV also but I only remember the radio ones) telling you how you can get rich quick by coming to a seminar (and buying tons of additional stuff) for Rich Dad Poor Dad. I sold a Rich Dad board game a few months ago for $40.00 plus shipping. It was used but looked like it was only used once. This time they had Rich Dad Real Estate. I scoped it up and was so happy when I showed it to J. “It’s a sign” I said. He shook his head and walked away again.

 

I don’t think my dream of becoming a real estate mogul are going to come true any time soon. And I would much rather sell the Rich Dad then keep it. I think there are plenty of other people out there that have the same dream of becoming rich quick that will scoop this up. What I find funny is that this get rich quick guru filed for bankruptcy a year or so ago if my memory is correct. He might not be the person I want to model myself after.

 

My Baby

I wrote about the situation with the baby here. I went through a depression stage right after. I was going through the motions of life but not really living or enjoying life. I can't really explain exactly how I felt. But after about a month I realized I had to do something about it and got some medication. It took a while but I can feel the difference. 

The situation with the baby is ... Still up in the air. Mom dropped out of rehab after about 6 weeks. Rumor has it that dad asked her to quit because he didn't want to be alone anymore. But she denies it and there is no proof. Dad supposedly has followed his case plan. But he has medical issues and wouldn't be able to care for baby on his own. So according to social worker (the 5th one I've had since I got baby) it could go either way.

In the meantime life goes on. I fall more in love with baby every day. She turned 1 last month. 

We had a Fairy from Happily Ever After perform. She was great. 

She is such a happy, smart, wonderful child. So far there have been no issues from the drug addiction. I am so blessed that she is the perfect baby. I can honestly say she is the prettiest baby I have ever seen since I wasn't around to see my Princess as a baby so I'm not being a bad mom. 

I don't know what will happen next month at the court hearing. I won't know until right before the social worker turns in her court report with her recommendation. But for now I will love and enjoy every moment I have with her even if these moments will be ending soon. I will try to give her so much love it will last her a lifetime. 

Will I do this again? I keep getting asked that question. I don't know. I ultimately do it for the children. I would save them all if I could. If I get a bigger house or if baby gets returned to her birth parents maybe I will. A 3 year old would be good. That's a good age. But only God knows what my future will hold. 

Some Call Me Stubborn

Maybe I am just a little stubborn. A few months ago I found a Grateful Dead button down short sleeve shirt for $4.00. It had a cool skull design on the front so i figured I would pick it up. Who doesn't like skulls? I looked it up eBay and couldn't find another like it. I randomly picked a number and decided to list it.  J looked at me and said "No one is going to pay $70.00 for that". My response was "we will see".

In the few months I had it listed I had a lot of offers on (I didn't put Best offer on this listing) but I was stubborn and decided to wait it out. Some of the offers were questionable. $15.00 offer on a $70.00 listed is crazy. J kept telling me I had it listed for too much. He said thats why my offers were for 20-40 dollars. I gave him the same response "we will see".

Maybe I am stubborn and I had no reason to believe that my shirt was worth $70.00 but I refused to give up. Well guess what. Last night it sold to a nice gentleman in London for the first asking price. He even paid $15.00 in shipping. Sometimes being stubborn pays off.

Maybe I should have listed it for more.

My House

When I first bought my little house I was single. No fiancé, no kids, no dogs. Just me. I had already started the adoption process and was just waiting to close on my house to fill out the last bit of paperwork and get licensed. I had very few requirements when I was looking.

1. At least two bedroom. One for me and one for my future child.
2. A yard for my future child and dog.
3. Close to my sisters house because of babysitting.

I didn't think about local school ratings (which mine local ones are bad), about neighborhood kids (there is only one and she is 3 years older then my princess), the fact that I might get more then one child, or eventually meet and fall in love with J. I was just so anxious to get a child and excited to be able to buy my own home.

I will be honest, I had my doubts I would be able to qualify for a house. My previous boyfriend really screwed up my credit. But I had been trying to fix it since our breakup. I was so surprised I qualified I  wasn't too picky on the house. I did end up with a cute two bedroom, one bath with a huge yard and 10 minutes walking distance from my sisters house.

Fast forward three years and I have two girls, 3 dogs, a bird, fish, and a fiancé. And to make matters worse my parents stay here most nights in the back finished room in our yard. We are bursting at the seams.

Last week I was at my concurrent foster parents monthly group and the adoption unit supervisor that runs our meeting mentioned she had a sibling group of 4 who's parents parental rights had just been terminated. Each of them were in a non-concurrent foster home (concurrent means that they are foster parents that would adopt that child if the parental rights were terminated) so they were going to have to be moved to another home. She didn't think any of the siblings were going to be able to be adopted together. It broke my heart. These children had been removed from the only parents they knew, separated from each other and placed in strangers homes, and now a year later they were going to have to be moved and placed in new strangers homes. And they don't even have each other to lean on. I came home and told J "lets take them". He of course looked at me like I had lost my mind. I know I can't take them but it got me really thinking of my home situation. Somethings got to change. So I'm going to get some bids on adding to my house and weigh that against the cost and trouble of selling my house and buying a new one.

It's funny how in life so often we look at the here and now and never think that our situation might change.

(Yes I still have the baby for now. That's a story for another day).