Bad Dreams

The decision to take in a new foster child, especially a baby, was not an easy one to make. Things turned out wonderfully with my Princess but it was a long and bumpy road to get here. There were days and weeks when I thought she would be returned to her mom. While I knew this would mean that her bio-mom as doing better and that was a good thing I selfishly didn't want that. From that first moment I saw Andi staring out from behind Maria's legs (first foster mom) I fell in love. But like I always say, as a foster parent I'm just a glorified baby sitter and have no say in the child's placement or future. I can only make sure that the time they are with me are a healthy, happy and loving time.

When I got the call for the baby I was first of all surprised because I wasn't signed up for a baby (as a foster parent you can get as specific as you want about the child you want placed including age, race, sex, etc.). All I specified was age 1 1/2-3. So I knew I couldn't have been the first call they made. She was born drug addicted and still in the hospital getting it out of her system. Not something a lot of people want to sign up for. So I spoke to my family and Jason, and prayed about it, and decided to bring her home.

Things have been far from easy from that moment on. She has had no issues with the drugs so far. She is a perfect happy baby. But the parents have been a nightmare. Speaking of nightmares, I have been sick for 3 days. When I'm sick I tend to have bad, vivid dreams. Last nights dream was about the baby and her parents. Next month is the 6 month court date. She will actually of been with me 7 months by then but the first court date wasn't scheduled right away and they go 6 months for that date. Because she is an infant a decision should be made at this court date regarding a permanent placement whether that be she gets returned to her parents or stays with me. Of course in my dream she was returned to her parents which is why it was a bad dream.

I don't know what's going to happen next month. The last I spoke to the social worker they were leaning toward terminating parental rights. But like I said things change often. This dream has me thinking about my future as a foster parent. If I do get to adopt the baby I can't take in anymore foster children. I have a two bedroom house so I'm only approved for 2 children. But if she is returned will I be able to go through this again? I don't know.