I'm a single mom with a three year old and a one month old. If you look up insanity in the dictionary I think that is the definition. And it was my choice.
I will admit Ella is a perfect baby. She had none of the symptoms you would expect with a baby born addicted to drugs. If she cries its usually because she's hungry, wet or wants attention. And with my family people are usually fighting over her so she gets lots of attention. I know being in the hospital being detoxed slowly over the course of a month helped. And so did the great staff at the NICU.
There was a reason for my insanity. I knew when they called me about Ella I was probably the third or fourth call they had made to place her because I wasn't signed up for a new born. And I just couldn't say no. But now I'm questioning my decision. Not because of the baby. But because of the family.
As I have mentioned before I am a concurrent foster home. I took in Ella as a foster child with the possibility of adopting if it should to that far. The same thing happened with my Princess. We had a happy ending and she is now my legal daughter. But in the process we had a lot of ups and downs. You get attached no matter what.
I realized when I met Ella's parents on Monday a few things. 1) the dad is a jerk. He was practically interrogating me. 2) mom had bruises all along her chin area. Hmm... 3) but most importantly is that they will fight for her. Whether they will do everything the court mandates we will have to wait and see. This is her 4th child and his 5 or 6 and they aren't raising any. If I saw this was a good home I know if she left it would hurt a bit less. But with them I have my doubts.
But like I always say, I'm just a full time babysitter. I need to take care of the baby and keep my mouth shut. And anyone that knows me knows I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut.